Hang in There!

Matthew Childs is an advertising lead at Razorfish who has a passion for rock climbing. He gave this presentation as a Ted Talk (ted.com) and titled it “Hang in There! 9 Life Lessons from Rock Climbing.”

Rule #1: Don’t let go
Rule #2: Hesitation is bad
Rule #3: Have a plan
Rule #4: The move is the end
Rule #5: Know how to rest
Rule #6: Fear sucks
Rule #7: Opposites are good
Rule #8: Strength ≠ Success
Rule #9: Know how to let go

Parable of the Beta Fish

A former student who is in graduate school studying contemporary literature in Canada, emailed me with a line that bothered me. He said he always felt sorry for teachers, especially literature teachers, at BYU-Idaho for being so restricted and limited in what they teach.

I’ve never felt restricted here at BYU-Idaho; in fact, I’ve always felt that I have complete freedom to teach whatever I’d want to teach. I have definitely taught things that others wouldn’t teach, but when I do, I prepare students for the reading; they know I care about them and about the literature, and I always allow alternate readings.

I also feel strongly about individual choice, so often in my classes, I have multiple reading choices, especially if someone finds something too disturbing. I feel one of my main responsibilities as a teacher is to share with students meaningful, significant literature, and I also want students to realize that good, well-written literature can also complement the gospel. For that reason, I try to demonstrate that through my reading selections for class. There are so many good choices, that if some don’t feel comfortable with something, then we can turn to something else.

I’m a very firm believer for the right book, for the right person, at the right time.

Just this Sunday, our 12 year-old neighbor gave her first youth speaker talk. She shared an experience she had the day before. They had recently bought a Beta fish, and they had been cautioned not to fill the fishbowl too full. They were fine for a few days, but she started to think that fish needed more swimming space, especially since it had spent so much time in those little containers in the store. So Catrina filled the bowl fuller. She went to watch a movie, and when she walked through the kitchen, she saw that the fish had jumped out of the bowl—the fish was wanting more freedom than what it had. She quickly called her dad who picked up the limp fish, put it in the water, aerated the water, and massaged the fish back to swimming. Catrina, then removed some of the water.

I’m calling this the Parable of the Beta Fish. Sometimes we think we’re being restricted, even if we do have freedom, so we look outside our bowls and life and wish we could be like others or do things differently than the Church counsels. So we may jump out thinking we’re more free; however, we find that it wasn’t good for us. At times we can’t return on our own to our safe bowl, and someone or Someone has to help us return.

No, I don’t feel restricted personally or professionally. I’m able to read and teach whatever I’d like. I am, however, sensitive to my students—I don’t want to impose my reading choices, preferences, or beliefs on them. Rather, my students are developing their own standards and choices, and I want to be the one to facilitate those opportunities.

Trust and Integrity--Teton Dam Flood

President Henry B. Eyring of the First Presidency was awarded the Distinguished Public Service Award from the Washington D.C. Chapter of the BYU Management Society last weekend at a dinner held in his honor and used the opportunity to teach about principles of leadership and leading.

“I've spent most of my life observing leaders and trying to be one,” he told a capacity crowd at the Marriott Hotel.

“I have searched for years for an answer to the question, “Why do people decide to follow a leader?” My guess is that you have pondered that question in the variety of settings in which you have lived and worked. You are likely still searching for a final answer and so am I.

“However, I thought it might be helpful to you if told you where I am in my search for an answer and how I got there. That might help you in your own search. I have tried to understand why great leaders get people to follow them. My explanation is getting down to two words: Trust and Integrity.

“It seems to me that people follow leaders they trust and the main source of their trust is the integrity they sense in the leader. Even more than competence, they will trust character. They trust people they think will find the course to follow by searching for what is the right thing to do without fear or selfish motive. And then that they do it themselves and ask their followers to come with them.”

He said that people trust integrity even more than competence.
He acknowledged that he knew the counter arguments. Sometimes people follow leaders for reasons other than trust, and they may trust leaders for reasons other than their integrity.

President Eyring told a story that he said demonstrated “ how some ordinary people in a climate of trust and deeply rooted integrity became powerful leaders all over an organization” and “shows that many great leaders can appear when you need them if selfless integrity has become the norm.”

On June 7, 1976, President Eyring, who was then the president of Ricks College, was in Idaho Falls at the temple wedding of a faculty member and miles away from his leadership post. As he and his wife, Kathleen, left the temple, a woman at the desk whispered to them that the Teton Dam had broken and a wall of water was headed for Rexburg.

In addition to the many for whom he was responsible at the college, four of his young sons were there as well. Two of them were working on a farm near where the dam had broken, and two more were at home with a baby sitter, he knew would probably not be aware that a flood was coming.

They quickly tried to return to Rexburg to help, but the police stopped them and told them all roads were closed. They were forced to spend the night in a motel, not knowing what had happened to their children or the college.

“As I look back, said President Eyring, I realize that I slept well that night because I knew something about the people for whom I was responsible. I trusted them for their integrity. I knew that they would try to find out what was right to do and that they would try to do it whatever the cost. I was sure that the people would follow them. That was deep in the natures of the people there long before I arrived as the young president. The people were rooted in moral principle from administrators down to the humblest workman.”

The next day, he said, “We arrived at the college to find thousands of survivors wearing all the clothes they had left. More Latter-day Saints were driven from their homes than at any other time in the history of the Church.”

He was told that his sons were safe. The water did hit the college, but it didn't hit the house. The two who had been plowing near the dam and been so close they saw the water rushing. The boys had asked the farmer, Craig Moore, “Shouldn't we head for home?” He had thought for a moment and said, “No. We agreed this morning that we would finish the plowing today. We always keep our word. We always finish what we start.”

The boys had said, “Yes, sir,” and climbed back up on the tractor. Brother Moore had no way of knowing whether the flood would hit his house where his wife was alone. But the boys knew from experience with Brother Moore that he would have asked a prayer about what to do. He didn't need to tell them that he had offered a prayer and felt that all was well at home. “They trusted him,” said President Eyring. “They stayed at the farm because they trusted that he would know what was right to do and do it whatever the cost.”

“At the college, I found that our people across campus had demonstrated that same great moral leadership and that people had followed them. Their president was in Idaho Falls. Yet ordinary people decided what the right thing to do was. They did it. And others followed them.”

The food service had fed over 5,000 dinners to survivors the first night. President Eyring said that he had for months told the man in charge of food service to hold down his food inventories to save costs, but he always felt better when he had reserves for surprises, an ideal certainly ingrained in him from his Mormon background.

Equally ingrained in him was the Mormon value of working long and hard. Even though it was Saturday, and he wasn't required to be there, he was there. He called in the bakers, the cooks, the dishwashers, all of whose own homes were in danger, and they came.

President Eyring smiled, “I got the credit for this in some of the press reports, but I wasn't even there.” What people were responding to he said, was a climate of integrity and trust. If he deserved any credit he said, it was that “I had recognized what my predecessors had created and I tried to protect it.”
The campus housing manager had acted just as the food manager. He decided what the right thing to do was, called in his workers to help, and because of them hundreds of families slept on clean sheets that night.“ Ordinary people in trouble themselves had followed the leadership of ordinary people they trusted to know the right thing to do. And so they all did it. The integrity of the followers rose to the integrity of their leaders,” President Eyring said.

Before President Eyring arrived from Idaho Falls, the manager of the student center had called the local stake president, and on his own had set up an emergency command center on campus.

“When I finally got back on the job in Rexburg, I went to the room in the student center where President Ricks was holding his meeting. I saw the bishops and the high councilors sitting there in whatever clothes they had been wearing when the flood hit. Most of them showed signs that they had been out in the mud and among the broken trees to find and help their people.

“Now, some of our critics might say they only followed the stake president out of submission to authority. But you wouldn't believe that if you knew those bishops. They were farmers and mechanics as independent as any you will ever meet. And that was equally true of their followers who answered the call…

“They didn't do that because they respected the office of the bishop.
That surely was a part of it, but respect alone wouldn't explain it. They trusted the bishop because of his character. They knew he would have prayed to know what ought to be done, that he would to it, and that he would tell them as honestly as he could what he felt God wanted them to do.”

After a few days an experienced director from the National Disaster Relief Agency arrived with a professional team. President Eyring met him as he arrived to speak with Stake President Ricks and several bishops. As the director moved down a check list of what should be done, President Ricks quietly whispered, “We've already done that.” After this had continued for four or five minutes, he said he would just like to observe, and by the next day he was asking “What would you like us to do?”

“Years later, as a member of the Presiding Bishopric of the Church, I was in the office of a member of the First Presidency. His phone rang,” said President Eyring.
“It was the President of the United States calling from Air Force One. He had called to thank the Church for the excellent response of our people to a disaster in Florida. I was told afterward that he attributed it to our organizational skills as a Church.

It was far more than knowing how to organize. It was people with integrity deep inside them that produced the miracle. The gospel had gone down into hearts to produce the climate in which trust and great leadership could emerge.”
President Eyring continued, “This idea that great leadership springs out of a climate of people rooted in moral integrity is not original with me. Nor does it only work among Mormons or in disaster relief. It is true in every endeavor.

“Here is one of my favorite passages in the United States Army Leadership Field Manual. It argues that we need great leaders who can be trusted for their integrity. Here is a passage: ‘People of integrity do the right thing not because it's convenient or because they have no choice.

“'They choose the right thing because their character permits no less. Conducting yourself with integrity has three parts: Separating what's right from what's wrong. Always acting according to what you know to be right even at personal cost. Saying openly that you're acting on your understanding of right versus wrong.'”

President Eyring said, “Integrity will not only gain trust from your subordinates in the crisis of floods or in combat. It will gain trust from superiors and subordinates in any setting. I like these lines from the book, The Moral Sense, by James Q. Wilson which is a compliment to us with a bit of an edge: ‘We value people who are so inner directed that we can rely on them acting in a certain way.'

“And then a few lines later, ‘People will often defer to our wishes if they think we will make a scene when we are asked to act contrary to a deeply held conviction, and they will often have confidence in our promises if the promises are consistent with our principles even when they know we will encounter many temptations to break the promise.”

President Eyring concluded, Do you remember the old line from our hymn, ‘Choose the Right'? There is a line in it: “There's a right and a wrong to every question.”
I've come to believe that is true, even in our leadership work when the moral course may be hard to find. God gives us help in that from the time of our birth. By impressions to the mind and to the heart we can know what is right and what is wrong. The Spirit of Christ can do that, even when we do not know what is best, we can know what is right...

“We can influence the emergence of great leaders rooted in moral principle. And they will lift families who in turn can lift our society. You can help create those trusted leaders. We desperately need them.”

Proctor, Maurine Jensen. "President Eyring on Leadership: Trust and Integrity." 22 April 2009. Meridian. 22 April 2009 .

Hector, Prince of Troy

I still can’t get The Iliad out of my mind. Hector, Prince of Troy, is my new hero. Hector’s creed is “Honor the gods; love my woman; and defend my country.” He’s a strong, solid individual. Hector stands by his brother Paris who kidnaps Helen which starts the Trojan War. Hector as the older brother and heir to the throne embodies unswerving fidelity and brotherly love. Hector isn’t blind to Paris’s stupidity, but Hector accepts responsibility and leads the army in battle—he’s probably in more battles than anyone else in The Iliad. He is a faithful husband to his wife Andromache, a loving father to his infant son Astyanax, a dutiful son to his father King Priam, a devoted servant to the gods, and a great military leader for the Trojans—he gives these inspiring calls to battle. And Hector is the one who battles hand-to-hand with Achilles.

This week I’ve started reading George Q. Cannon’s 600 page Life of Joseph Smith the Prophet. Cannon is incredible—he was a member of the First Presidency under Presidents Brigham Young, John Taylor, Wilford Woodruff, and Lorenzo Snow—the witnesses he must have had. His history is based on those who knew the Prophet intimately. Cannon was a boy when his family first arrived at Nauvoo and he saw Joseph in a crowd. Without being told, he recognized Joseph. He said he would have known him among ten thousand.

Here’s a great paragraph Cannon writes about Joseph’s leadership: “But whether engaging in manly sport during hours or relaxation, or proclaiming words of wisdom in pulpit or grove, he was ever the leader. His magnetism was masterful, and his heroic qualities won universal admiration. Where he moved, all classes were forced to recognize in him from a distance, knew him the moment their eyes beheld his person. Men have crossed ocean and continent to meet him and have selected him instantly from among a multitude.”

And here is a new favorite scripture: “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21).

Achilles' Anger

I've just started Homer’s The Iliad. In just three days, I’ve read half of it because I can’t put it down. I am noticing a number of leadership qualities that I want to explore more. Although anger is not one of those qualities, it still continues to be an overriding feeling in the poem. Here’s the very first stanza of the poem:

Rage:
Sing, Goddess, Achilles’ rage,
Black and murderous, that cost the Greeks
Incalculable pain, pitched countless souls
Of heroes into Hades’ dark,
And left their bodies to rot as feasts
For dogs and birds, as Zeus’ will was done.
Begin with the clash between Agamemnon—
The Greek warlord—and godlike Achilles.

Achilles is mad because he doesn’t think Agamemnon is honoring him enough after nine years of battle against the Trojans. So Achilles decides not to fight any longer, and I’m 250 pages into the poem, the Greeks are losing terribly and are being pushed back to their ships—they’re ready to set sail for home having lost the war, and Achilles still refuses to fight because of his anger.

Isn’t anger such a terrible, destructive emotion? I’ve seen anger destroy families, destroy careers, destroy friendships, and destroy testimonies. And anger doesn’t have to be loud, it can also be silent. I don’t know what your experience has been with anger, but because of life, I would suspect at some time anger has touched your life somehow.

That’s why this week’s reading of the Prophet Joseph’s reactions to Martin Harris’s loss of the 116 pages of the manuscript or his reactions to being imprisoned in Liberty Jail, have had such a strong impression on me. Instead of placing anger against others, Joseph places self-responsibility and anguish towards himself. His response to the lost manuscripts is, “I have sinned.” The Prophet rarely seems to be angry—hurt yes, but not angry. What a godlike quality to not lash out at others when things are not going well, and it seems rarely things go just the way we’d like.

This weekend I bought and watched Ben Hur—I’ve never seen it before. Anger is the emotion that destroys the lives in this movie between the Roman Marsalla and Judah Ben-Hur. It’s not until the end of the nearly four-hour movie, that Ben-Hur finds peace and forgiveness through the Crucified Christ when He says, not in anger but in love, “Father , forgive them.”

Anger destroys, but Christ's love and patience gives life and hope.

Humpty-Dumpty

This last weekend was LDS General Conference. I do think I appreciate conference more and more. It is a blessing that we can felt and hear some answers to our prayers.

I’m so grateful that conference can bless us, strengthen us, and encourage us. Some themes that stood out for me include taking care of each other, finding peace in the temple, being steadfast, and depending on the Savior and His Atonement.

Earlier this week I read the Lanford Wilson play Talley’s Folly. It’s a two-character play, and one of them claims that many of us suffer from the Humpty-Dumpty complex. We all have such fragile shells that we do everything we can not to upset our delicate little worlds, and we’re oh so afraid of bumping into someone or an experience and crack. We protect ourselves so well, that nothing can penetrate our shells, and we worry that if we do crack, we can’t be repaired.

Conference, on the other hand, repeatedly expresses that, yes, we are fragile and that this world is dangerous and unfriendly, but we are not alone. We have each other, and we have a very definite responsibility to help each other. Wasn’t President Eyring’s reference to Black Hawk Down great?—leave no man behind. And Bishop Edgely gave us the “call,” like Brother Brigham. to leave now to rescue those stranded on the plains of unemployment, despair, and hardship. And President Uchtdorf’s admonition to focus on what is eternal and significant and not be distracted in our duties. He sure sounded like Captain Moroni raising the banner of “I am doing a great work and cannot come down!”

We have a duty and a sacred responsibility to search out, rescue, and serve others. Even though Elder Perry was talking about member-missionary work, there are those stranded sheep who need us. And Elder Bednar’s and Elder Scott’s powerful talks about temples and the peace, power, and the “fire of the covenant” burning within us will protect, guide, and direct us to the Lord’s work on both sides of the veil.

But most important of all, the sacred testimonies of the Savior, especially Elder Holland’s witness that because of the Savior’s experience of betrayal and abandonment on our behalf means that Divine Passion is never absent in our lives—we will never be left alone. So unlike broken Humpty-Dumpty where all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could not repair Humpty-Dumpty, we are eternally blessed because all the King’s men (His servants, our families, our quorums, and each other) and the King Jesus can put us back together, can make us whole, complete, and well.

So many of my students are the King’s choicest men and women—He loves us and needs us. And He is with us.

We need to remember President Monson’s encouragement to study diligently, pray fervently, and live righteously with his promise that the Lord shapes our backs to bear the burdens placed upon them.

Steadfast Penelope

I’ve just finished reading The Odyssey for the first time. I don’t know why I haven’t read it before other than I’ve been intimidated. However, The Odyssey is the right book at the right time for me. I had heard many of Odysseus’s exploits before, and now I know how they connect with each other and how they help develop Odysseus’s character.

What I didn’t realize until now was the power of Odysseus’s wife Penelope who mourns and waits twenty years for Odysseus’s return to her. During that time she raises their son Telemachus from infancy to young manhood, she maintains Odysseus’s home and estate, she cares for his aging parents and buries her mother-in-law. And most importantly, she preserves Odyssey’s memory and honor as she fights off numerous deceitful suitors who want to get their hands on Odysseus’s inheritance and wealth.

Penelope uses her wits and intelligence to put them off for many years by insisting that she finish weaving a tapestry which she weaves all day but at night unravels. Her servants betray her, yet she continues to hold them off. She sets a powerful example of honor for their son Telemachus who has learned to love his absent father because of his mother’s love for Odysseus.

According to the dead Agamemnon, Odyssey’s successful homecoming is due in large part because of the faithfulness and goodness of Penelope. At the end, Agamemnon sings Penelope’s praises:

“Well done, Odysseus, Laertes’ wily son!
You won a wife of great character
In Icarius’ daughter. What a mind she has,
A woman beyond reproach! How well Penelope
Kept in her heart her husband, Odysseus.
And so her virtue’s fame will never perish,
And the gods will make among men on earth
A song of praise for steadfast Penelope.” (24.199-206)

A powerful virtue we often overlook is that of being steady or steadfast. Although Penelope may not seem the warrior hero glorified in Odysseus’s stories, she is the hero who stays home and protects virtue and honor—and she never waivers.

Penelope demonstrates for us the virtue of consistency, of being steadfast, not matter the pressure to sway. Often in The Odyssey, Odysseus is called glorious and god-favored, Penelope is also glorious and god-favored because she is steady.