William W. Phelps and Self-Forgiveness

I’m touched by the Savior’s example of long-suffering, patience, and forgiveness for each of us, and we must certainly emulate those Christ-like qualities. Yet when we think of long-suffering and patience and forgiveness, we naturally think of our relationships with others. But we also need to exercise long-suffering, patience, and forgiveness towards ourselves, especially when we feel we have failed to measure up or we have intentionally or unintentionally hurt others.

We beat ourselves mercilessly. Remember John Donne’s sonnet, “Batter My Heart”? Donne pleads to God to batter, beat, burn, and bruise him—rarely does God do that to us—we do it to ourselves.

I like this quotation from President Howard W. Hunter: “It has always struck me as being sad that those among us who would not think of reprimanding our neighbor, much less a total stranger, for mistakes that have been made or weaknesses that might be evident, will nevertheless be cruel and unforgiving to themselves. When the scriptures say to judge righteously, that means with fairness and compassion and charity. That’s how we must judge ourselves. We need to be patient and forgiving of ourselves, just as we must be patient and forgiving of others.”

I know that is much easier said than done. I know most of us have a strong, solid testimony and we know our Heavenly Father and the Savior love us. Even though our view of eternity is relatively clear, our view for the next mile, our view of ourselves, and even our next step is cloudy and obscured. We need a little more clear perspective, and the Holy Ghost can help us discern things as they “really are,” including discerning ourselves.

I’ve been studying the Doctrine and Covenants, and what I learn about William W. Phelps gives me hope. Phelps has written the lyrics for fifteen hymns in our hymn book including “The Spirit of God,” “Now Let Us Rejoice,” “Redeemer of Israel,” and “Oh God, the Eternal Father.” Phelps had wonderful, powerful experiences with the Prophet Joseph. Phelps had such a strong, vibrant testimony. However, he became very bitter in Far West, left the church, but most importantly turned on the Prophet, even becoming involved with Governor Bogg’s extermination order which sought the Prophet’s life. Here is a man who turned on his best friend.

But, William W. Phelps returned to the church in 1840 and wrote a letter asking the Prophet for his forgiveness. Joseph Smith wrote back forgiving Phelps, and concluded his letter with this great couplet: “Come on, dear brother, since the war is past, / For friends at first, are friends again at last.”

Here’s the rest of this experience. Phelps was devastated when he heard of the Prophet’s and Hyrum’s deaths. He then wrote that powerful “Praise to the Man.” Not only had he received the Prophet’s forgiveness, but he had been able to forgive himself for what he had done earlier in his life. Phelps continued faithful throughout the rest of his life.

I don’t know details of all your pains I just know you’re hurting and you blame yourselves. Try to get a more clear perspective through the Holy Ghost. Try to see farther down the road. Keep moving forward and upward. Remember that the Savior can calm your stormy seas as well as the Sea of Galilee. And remember there are those who love you--you’re not alone.